I completed my lent reading on the train today! During the writing of my reflective assignment last summer, I came across the writings of St Francis de Sales, a saint of 400 years past. The phrase 'bloom where you're planted' has its sentiment rooted in his writings. I've now finished his 'Introduction to the devout life', a treatise written to a woman living an ordinary life, i.e. not in a nunnery, giving instructions and advice on living a God-serving life.

De Sales doesn't pull any punches regarding the kinds of things which draw us away from or towards God. He is also very clear about the grace and love and forgiveness we find in Jesus. And that it is by grace that we have the strength to devote ourselves to God.

It's not been an easy read, both due to being on old book translated from the French, and because of its straight-talking nature. Overall it has helped me realise again the possibilities of life lived with God and the freedom that comes from forgiveness. Resolving and re-resolving to serve God will be part of my onward journey.

My reading into May is to finish Let the children come by Bonnie J. Miller-McLemore, and then read Discipleship in the Way of Jesus, by Alex McManus.

Have you read anything good this month?

I hadn't planned for this to be a week of new beginnings, it has just happened this way.  On Monday I started with a new Homestart family, stepping back into the world of babies for a few hours.  On Wednesday I collected the records for the role of District Treasurer which I was not expecting to do, and certainly not so suddenly.  And if I'm honest, I was hoping I wouldn't be doing.  Then on Thursday I led, with help from Steve Jones, our Training Officer, the first session of a Worship Leader training course.

Three new things in one week put my head in a spin.  I was walking into rooms and forgetting why, missing things from lunchboxes and going to put the dinner in the fridge instead of the oven.  I have been very grateful, though, to recognise the way God has prepared me and supported me.

Everyone else has seemed far more convinced that I'd make a good treasurer than I was, and their encouraging words have been a great tonic.  Then there were the three services in a row about being part of the local community:  a local youth worker spoke about being ambassadors in the places where we are; a minister about 'blooming where you're planted', and at a church anniversary service in our home city, the minister reminded the congregation of the importance of being outside the four walls sharing the good news.  For me, this made the decision about what to pull back from in order to make time for the treasurer role much easier.  The 'community' roles - like Homestart and helping in school were my priorities.  I had been planning on being involved in local preacher training, but that has had to go for now.  It was still hard feeling that I was letting people down, but I know that God will have his timing for this too.

Today, catching up with readings I've not been able to do whilst my head was spinning, I read Philip Greenslade's intro to Isaiah (CWR Cover to Cover notes).  He writes 'by God's grace, the times of wrenching transition, when our lives are most painfully disrupted, may become the God-designed 'rites of passage' to fresh stages of faith and maturity.'

Lord, move me onwards.

For three nights last week I had fun delivering the black spot as a pirate (that's me on the left). This was in our village panto-esque version of Treasure Island. The months of rehearsals paid off and together we put in a great show. I've really appreciated being able to get to know friends better as we worked together.

Probably my regret is in not being able to respond to a comment about my pre-show calmness with the words of Psalm 27:1:

The LORD is my light and my salvation— so why should I be afraid? The LORD is my fortress, protecting me from danger, so why should I tremble?

There are some things I can do with little or no fear - like acting or preaching.  Others, like expressing my faith outside of the familiar surroundings of chapel or home, leave me speechless.  Why should I tremble?

I'm trying to read a book a month this year, and January's read has been my regular new year dose of Brother Lawrence.  It finishes 'Believe me, count as lost each day you have not used in loving God.'  Year on year, I do feel I grow closer to recognising God's presence more of the time, but progress is slow.  I'll be trying another devotional great later in the year - when Francis de Sales' Introduction to the Devout Life eventually arrives...

Earlier this month I also finished off a three books I'd started last year.  Two were started in a fit of panic when I seemed to be struggling to communicate with my teenager/pre-teen.  Rob Parsons Teenagers! and Faber and Mazlish How to talk so teenagers will listen and listen so teenagers will talk.  Although neither were outstanding, they helped me think about my own attitudes and motivation, and things seem to have calmed down a bit at home.

I also finished Natasha Walter Living Dolls.  I would definitely recommend this to anyone who wonders where feminism is going or wonders about the effects of the increasing sexualisation of our society.  It is scary in parts, but left me better equipped to continue to challenge those who overplay the differences between women and men.  I'm not a feminist, but I am a theist-humanist.  Walter shows that the differences between men and women are overplayed in our culture, particularly in the media. Bringing this into a Christian perspective, I believe that we will each be best fulfilled as human beings when we recognise God's creative role in our existence, and work together for each other's good.  When we pull apart, we connect more with Genesis 3 than Genesis 1-2.

I'm also pleased to have kept up with a month of 'Bible in One Year' courtesy of Methodist Conference 2010, gifted to me at the Biblefresh Festival. Reading Job at the moment, finding the arguments somewhat cyclical, so probably very real!

February's book may be a Philippa Gregory novel...

Sophia Network is running a blog series of testimonies to those who have empowered women in their leadership roles. Their hope is that in turn others will find ways of empowering leaders.  If you've not found Sophia Network before, do take a look, as they produce some really thoughtful and encouraging material.

I felt empowered yesterday when in a vestry prayer, one of our leaders thanked God for my gift of preaching, and that I used it.  Having had a couple of months with lots of preaching, I'm moving into more of a teaching season now - getting ready for a worship leader training course in March/April.  And hopefully then beginning to tutor online Local Preacher training.  It's all exciting, and scary, and I know very much I am standing on the line between having confidence in my gifts, but knowing that God is the one empowering me.

Probably if I had to choose one person who had empowered me I would go back to Rob Frost.  There have been many others along the way, especially my parents and Jonathan, but as someone who made the opportunities for me to feel part of Methodism and accepted within that as a woman and a leader, I'd come back to Rob.

 

Two thoughts I want to carry into 2012 - prompted by reading the Psalm 80 and 57 in the Cover to Cover CWR notes this past week or so.  Both come from repeated verses.

Psalm 80:3, 7 and 19 are in my NLT: ‘Turn us again to yourself, O Lord God Almighty, make your face shine down upon us.   Only then will we be saved.’  As I move into a new year, I am aware that I am in a place where complacency would be easy.  I want to continue to choose the narrow way - to continue to turn to God at any and every opportunity.

Psalm 57:5 and 11: ‘Be exalted, O God, above the highest heavens.  May your glory shine over all the earth.’  I can’t put it better than A W Tozer, quoted in the CWR notes: ‘While we take to ourselves the place that is his, the whole course of our lives is out of joint.  Nothing can or will restore order till our hearts make the great decision: God shall be exalted above all’.

Are you carrying any thoughts into the New Year?   Amongst my resolutions is to post here a bit more regularly than I have since the summer.  Maybe you can help by posting a comment from time to time.  Happy New Year!

Monday morning has the feeling like much could be accomplished.  I've not blogged for ages, because post-studenthood has meant more time away from the screen and involved in real life!  I had great fun being part of the planning team for the Biblefresh Festival for our Methodist District - you can see the photos here.  Other than that, I've got started as a volunteer for HomeStart, done a few days work and got back into helping at school, teaching recorders and helping with the reception class.

Suffice to say many of the books I wanted to read over the hols still sit unread.  I have completed another strand of Uprising, and might tweet some one-liners over the next few weeks from there.  I finished Winter of Our Disconnect, and would recommend it to all parents of pre-teens and teenagers considering whether technology has a positive or negative effect on us.  I'm about halfway through Living Dolls.  Parts of it have made me feel sick, but I'm really glad I've kept reading. Being a parent and being with other parents has convinced me that children are children first, and then male or female - each are amazing individuals with great strengths and characters.

Re-reading The Human Factor (Graham Greene) during the summer hols and then seeing Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy last week has reminded me how central our relationships with each other are to the way we feel.  We may be created as individuals, but we work best in relationship with each other - and of course with God.

Now - off to the drawing board for worship over the next few weeks...

I’m going to take a break from my ‘online’ journey over the summer and concentrate on having fun with my family and reading.  This is my list:

Francis de Sales, Introduction to the Devout Life.  Reading this was sparked by the reflective study I finished a few weeks back.  It’s spirituality for everyday – not those called to monastic life.  I’m wondering if anyone has written anything recently bringing his work up to date – a bit like John Ortberg did for Brother Lawrence in God is closer than you think.  If you know of anything, do let me know!

Erwin McManus, Uprising.  I’ve read one of the three strands of this book – the quest for nobility.  The encouragement to gratitude, wholeness and generosity I have found really inspiring – I hope I can practice some living like this during the hols. 

Susan Maushart, The Winter of our Disconnect.  I’m about half way through this, as bedtime reading!  It is both a scary and funny look at what life is like without technology.  The way our children live is going to be so different from us, as Google+, Facebook and Twitter become their normal place of residence.  You can rest assured that my aim for the holidays is to keep the screens off as much possible – ‘do something interesting or useful’ will be my catchphrase!

Natasha Walter, Living Dolls: The return of sexism is one I shall need a brown paper bag to cover!  With three girls, one already a teenager and others heading that way, I’m hoping to get my head around the direction of feminism today. 

Martin Atkins, Preaching in a Cultural Context. I picked this up at a MET conference to read as part of my ongoing preaching study.

Joel Green, Narrative Reading, Narrative Preaching is another preaching text.

Last but not least,

JRR Tolkein, Tales from the Perilous Realm, which I read some of during last year’s holiday, and hope to finish this year.

[Have picked up The Kite Runner and The Human Factor from the library today, too, but think I might have overstretched the possibilities timewise now...]

Happy Holidays!

All the gen from Sunday morning is courtesy of my children, as I was elsewhere!   The readings set were Philippians 2:3-11 and Matthew 23:1-11.  ‘My way’ was shown by the teachers of the law, who loaded the people up with laws and wouldn’t ‘life a finger’ to help, preferring instead to show off their own big bibles (phylacteries in the NIV!) and posh clothes.  ‘God’s way’ was shown in the Philippians reading, and the children washed each other’s feet to illustrate serving others.  The young people stuck to washing hands rather than feet!  Then they had parties for the end of Sunday School/Bible Class for this year, which were much enjoyed.

This brings to an end our series about making good choices in life - choosing God’s way instead of our own way.  We’ve thought about being generous, Godly wisdom and justice, God’s opinion of us, being full of the Spirit, being content, success and serving others.  For our journey, maybe two quotes could sum up our learning:

Matthew 7: ¹³ “Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. ¹⁴ But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.

From 1 Corinthians 12:31 - 13:13:  Yet I will show you the most excellent way... Love is patient, love is kind...”

Following up an earlier post, I'm asking a question about what mission looks like when we move from a 'gospel of sin management' (Dallas Willard, Divine Conspiracy and others) to a gospel of life.  A legalistic gospel was questioned in some teaching we received at Emmanuel in May, the suggestion being made that instead the cross could be seen as a 'love poem'.  There was an emphasis on reconciliation: from humanity to God and between humans.

Willard puts it like this 'History has brought us to the point where the Christian message is thought to be essentially concerned only with how to deal with sin: with wrongdoing or wrong-being and its effects.  Life, our actual existence, is not included in what is now presented as the heart of the Christina message, or it is included only marginally'. (p.49) And 'there is no gospel for human life and Christian discipleship, just one for death or one for social action...we must develop a straightforward presentation, in word and life, of the reality of life now under God's rule, through reliance upon the word and person of Jesus'. (p.68)  He goes on in the book to develop such a gospel, by working through Matthew 5-7, the Sermon on the Mount.  This is a book a read a few years back, and would love to develop into a sermon series!

There are actually a few questions in my mind.  One is whether I'm involved in anything missional at all - either trying to convince people to have their sin dealt with by Jesus (sin management by legalism), or trying to bring societal change (sin management by social action), or bringing life and love in their fulness into people's lives?  If I'm not involved in mission in the first place - how can I change what I do?  Yes, I am exaggerating here, but I'm probably asking the question of the church, too, both locally and more widely.

So my question is, what does Jesus look like in my community?  And how can I - or you - be like that?